Can you get pregnant in your 40’s?
When it comes to getting pregnant in your 40’s, many people think that age is the biggest obstacle. However, age is just one factor on this journey – and although it is important, it can’t be changed. You have to accept your age as well as everything else about you, such as the experiences that have led you to this point. Also, stop worrying about what other people may think or say about you when you fall pregnant. This is your journey in life, not theirs.
Don’t focus on your age, only on what you can change!
As mentioned, some things can’t be changed, so let’s focus on what we can.
- Your Body
- Your mind
Your Body
There are some basics you should do first for your body.
Start with a preconception checkup. Your doctor can help you determine if you have any underlying health conditions that might make it harder to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term. If necessary, they can also prescribe treatments to improve your chances. For example, if you have diabetes, your doctor may put you on a special diet and exercise plan to help control your blood sugar levels.
Eating a healthy diet is one of the best things you can do to boost your chances of getting pregnant. What we eat affects our bodies in so many ways, and that includes fertility.
There are a few key nutrients that are especially important for fertility:
Folic acid: Start taking a prenatal vitamin with folic acid. Folic acid helps prevent birth defects in the baby’s brain and spine. Good sources include leafy green vegetables, legumes/beans, nuts, and fortified foods such as cereals, bread, and pasta.
Iron: Iron is important for making haemoglobin, which carries oxygen in the blood. Good sources include, beans, lentils, spinach, lean red meat, dark poultry and fortified foods.
Omega-three fatty acids: These are important for the development of the baby’s nervous system. Good sources include flaxseed, canola oil, fatty fish, such as salmon and tuna.
You should also try to eat less processed food and more whole foods. That means more fruits and vegetables, lean protein, whole grains, and healthy fats. And limit your intake of caffeine, alcohol, and artificial sweeteners.
Finally, if you smoke, now is the time to quit. Smoking increases your risk of miscarrying and having a baby with birth defects. It also lowers your chances of success with fertility treatments.
All of the above is probably something you know already and you may already have started making these lifestyle changes to help your body.
Please remember the above guidance is not exhaustive, so please speak with your doctor for more advice.
Your Mind
As I said earlier, our age is something we can’t change along with our past and the choices we made, we just have to accept them. But that’s easier said than done for some of us.
I really had to work on my guilt for not trying for a baby sooner and start accepting and loving the choices I had made. Accepting my age was a challange as I had conditioned myself to believe that it wasn’t right to have a baby so late in my life.
To be honest, I sometimes find myself having the same guilt-ridden thought process, but as soon as I catch myself in that negative cycle, I immediately change my thoughts.Speak to your doctor about this if you feel like you need someone to talk to. They will be able to give you professional advice.
Below, however, are the methods I used. It really helped me to manage my critical thoughts about myself. I still use these techniques today.
Thought Transformation
This is a cognitive technique that can be used to effectively challenge and change negative, self-defeating thoughts.
There are a few steps in Thought Transformation:
- Identify the negative thought or worry.
- Restructure the thought in a more positive, realistic way.
- Practice repeating the new, more positive thought until it becomes automatic.
Performing this technique after meditation allows you to open up even more and become aware and mindful of all your thoughts in a non-judgmental way.
Meditation and Mindfulness
Meditation can be defined as a practice to promote relaxation, stress relief, and inner peace by concentrating on a single thought or your breath, for example. Mindfulness can be defined as paying attention and being truly present in your day-to-day life. You become aware of your thoughts and emotions and how it effects you and others around you at any time.
If you have had a chance to read my previous blogs, you’ll know I practice meditation. I find it’s a lovely way for me to start my day and keeps me in a positive frame of mind.
Meditation along with mindfulness can reduce stress and anxiety and can also improve your sleep quality and boost your immune system. They both have a positive impact on your fertility. A small study found that women who practiced mindfulness were less likely to experience anxiety and depression during fertility treatment. And another study found that women who meditated had a higher success rate with in vitro fertilization (IVF) than those who didn’t.
Here is a link to my blog on Meditation.
Jon Kabat-Zinn developed the mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in 1979. He defines mindfulness as “the awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.”
He discussed 9 key attitudes to mindfulness.
Non-judging– Accepting things as there are. By becoming aware of the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences that we are all normally caught up in, and learn to step back from it.
Patience– Accepting things as they are in the present moment and allowing things to unfold in their own time.
Beginner’s mind– Having an open mind and being curious. Seeing things as if for the first time.
Trust – Having faith and trust in yourself and your feelings.
Non-striving– Letting go of the need to control everything and just being in the present moment.
Acceptance – Accepting things as they are in the present moment.
Letting go – No attachments to thoughts and things.
Gratitude– What you think affects how you feel (both emotionally and physically). So by practicing gratitude you can in crease your sense of well being.
Generosity– Giving true blessings. It says, ‘start by giving true blessings to yourself, such as self-acceptance, or some time each day with no purpose. Practice being generous with the feeling of being deserving enough to accept these gifts without obligation. To simply receive from yourself, and from the universe’.
I really believe that when you become more mindful in your day-to-day life, it allows you to be more present. And when you’re more present, you’re able to make better decisions. When it comes to your fertility journey, being mindful can help you to be more in tune with your body and understand your cycle better. It can also help to reduce stress, which as we know can impact fertility.
I practiced mindfulness at various points throughout the day whilst trying to get pregnant. When I woke up in the morning, I’d start the day by taking a few deep breaths and focusing on the present moment and not on events that happened the night before or what might happen during the day. (which would normally be stressful!). During the day I would try to practice mindfulness whilst I was eating, by focusing on the taste, texture, and smell of my food. When I walked to the bus stop, I’d observe my surroundings and listen to the birds rather than the music on my headphones.
I love doing this today too and try and incorporate it whilst with my daughter Sofia. It keeps me in the present moment and the time we have is so much more enjoyable.
Tips
How to incorporate thought transformation with meditation and mindfulness.
Find quiet time first thing in the morning, just before your day has begun.
Create stillness in your mind. You may want to sit or lie down for this.
Start by focusing on your breath. Focus on the sensation of the air moving in and out of your lungs.
Allow your thoughts to come and go without judgment. If you find yourself getting caught up in a thought, simply return your focus to your breath.
Once you’ve practiced this for a while and you feel calm and at ease, hold the idea of having a baby in your mind and see what thoughts come up. Write them down. Try not to dwell on each point, just make a note of it.
Once you think you’re done, have a look at the list you created. Next to each thought mark it with either a P or N to indicate whether it was a negative or positive thought.
Now, next to all the thoughts that were negative, try and write down a more positive or realistic thought. For example, if your original thought was “I’m too old to have a baby”, your new thought could be “I’m fit and healthy and I will be a great mum”.
These new thoughts should now become your daily affirmations. Every time you have a negative opinion about yourself, re-write it and make that your new affirmation.
Conclusion
Making the decision to have a baby in your 40’s is a big one. But it’s important to remember that you are not alone. There are many women who have successful pregnancies later in life. Age is just one factor.
Create a positive voice in your head with thought transformation, meditation and mindfulness. This is the voice of confidence and positivity, and this is the voice we need to listen to.
It’s also important to stop worrying about what other people think or say. This journey is yours and you need to do what’s right for you. So, don’t let anyone else’s opinion hold you back. And that goes for anything in life!
And finally, try to see the benefits of your age. For example, you’re probably more financially stable now than you were in your 20’s, you’re probably more patient and wise, and you have a lot of life experience to offer your child.
So, don’t let age be a hurdle on your journey to pregnancy. Embrace it, love yourself, and believe that you can do this!
Thanks for reading x
