My Threenager- Will this ever end?

Introduction

As a parent of a three year old, I’m sure you can relate to the term ‘threenager’. It’s a term used to describe the challenging behaviour of a three year old, and my threenager has been testing me for months! She has been resisting everything from getting dressed in the morning to eating her vegetables at dinner. I often find myself wondering what happened to my sweet and easy-going toddler, where did this monster come from, and will this ever end!

The Threenager Stage

The threenager stage is a period of time when your child is transitioning from being a toddler to a full-fledged preschooler. It’s an age where they are becoming more independent, testing boundaries , and asserting their own opinions and preferences. This can result in challenging behaviour such as defiance, tantrums, and meltdowns. Well, it has for me with my threenager!

My story

I read that to manage your threenager, you had to pick you battles and set boundaries and rules. On paper, this advice seemed flawless and simple to implement. But when you have your child in front of you resisting a normal routine, like putting their coat on so that they are not late for school, it is so difficult and frustrating and impossible to do!

A few days ago, everything reached a breaking point when I tried to get my daughter dressed for school. In frustration, I raised my voice, and she tearfully pleaded, “Mummy, please don’t shout. It hurts my heart.” Never before have I felt such overwhelming guilt. This incident truly served as a humbling wake-up call for me.

After some much needed reflection, lots of tears and sleepless nights, I realised that I needed to change. After all, She is only 3 (and a half)!

My Coping Strategies

So how should I cope with my threenager’s behaviour?

Honestly, I’m still learning and I don’t think that there is a one-size-fits-all solution. However, here are some strategies I’ve found helpful so far.

I have started to focus on her positive behaviour, which is the case 90% of the time! My husband and I reward her with stickers (she loves stickers) and share her positive behaviour with other people whilst she is in the room. This alone has made a huge difference.

Another method that has helped us, is giving her choices. This makes her feel like she has some control and power, which she so desperately wants. For example, instead of saying “Put on your coat now”, I will ask her “Do you want to wear the blue or red coat today?”, giving her a sense of independence and ownership.

I also make it a point to wake her up half an hour earlier every morning and whilst she is in that dreamy state, I get her dressed before she realises she has a choice. This sometimes work!

I still experience moments of frustration but I am learning and changing.

Conclusion

I have to remember that this threenager stage, although difficult, is a necessary part of my daughters development. She is still learning and growing, and it’s my job as her mum to support her through this transition.

This stage in her life is also helping me to grow. It’s teaching me patience, empathy and the importance of constantly adapting my parenting style. As much as I miss my easy-going toddler, I am excited to see the amazing person she will become. And for now, I’ll just have to embrace the threenager chaos.

Good luck and thanks for reading x