The two week-wait (2WW) can be an absolute nightmare for some women and it was for me.

Whether you’re going through IVF, IUI, a natural cycle, or another method of fertility treatment, that 2WW can be tough.

With IVF, you know the egg has been fertilsed and now it has to implant. For IUI, you’re waiting to see if the sperm has made its way to the egg and fertilised it, as it is with a natural cycle. You’re just hoping that everything has gone according to plan.

Doubts

The 2WW is the time when your mind plays havoc with you and you start thinking about all the things that could go wrong. What if the embryo doesn’t implant? What if there’s something wrong with the baby? Should I have stood on my head to help with implantation process? I should have had more kale to nourish the eggs, or was it pineapple? And there’s the whole waiting game. You’re just waiting to see if your period will show up or if you’ll get to do that pregnancy test.

I drove myself crazy with all the what-ifs and should-haves. On top of that, I was having to have daily progesterone injections in my bum-cheek and thigh, making it hard to sit down and walk by day 4!

Relax is the advice most women will get from their consultants, which is all fine and dandy but not always easy to do.

Ways to relax

Change your internal dialogue, your thoughts, to help you relax.

This was one of the main techniques I used. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not going to get pregnant, then guess what? You probably won’t. But, if you change that dialogue to something positive, like “I am going to get pregnant,” then you might just surprise yourself.

For me, it was always-

-If it doesn’t work, there is always next time.

-What if the progesterone injection doesn’t reach the right place? What if it’s not enough?

-Maybe we should have bought the IVF bundle- 3 for the price of 2!

-Next month, double the amount of vitamins you need. You’re older, you probably need twice as much!

-Well, if it doesn’t work, you can have a glass of wine!

I doubted my success throughout all 3 rounds of IVF. I set myself to fail.

When the consultant said there was a 1% chance of me getting pregnant so don’t set my hopes high, I accepted those words and allowed them to sit in my heart and mind. It became my mantra, my daily affirmation.

When some friends would say, don’t stress when it doesn’t work, I would find myself agreeing with them, saying, “there is always next time I suppose”, or “yeah, you’re right. I am getting older”

It was only after I attended Bob Proctor’s Paradigm shift course and Molly Nichols’s “Believe” program, that I became aware of my internal critical thought process.

How to change your inner dialogue

I started writing down all the negative comments I was telling myself about my fertility journey and then turned them into positives.

Initially just being aware of my critical voice was difficult. It was only during moments of silence that I was able to focus my attention on it.

I would write them down and immediately change them into positive statements. These then became my new affirmations every day and I can honestly say it was a game changer for me. It did make a difference.

Whenever I caught myself thinking something worrying, I’d change the statement immediately. If I didn’t have a pen and paper to hand, I’d visualise myself on a beach with a stick in my hand, crossing out the old statement and replacing it with an empowering one in the sand!

This in turn helped my body to relax and do what it needed to do.

I’m not saying that changing your internal dialogue will get you pregnant, but it will make your journey less stressful.

Other methods to help you de-stress

Other methods you could try to relax through the 2ww and throughout your fertility journey are :

Meditation

Meditation can help to clear your mind and focus on the present moment. It’s a great way to manage stress and anxiety and bring you into the present moment. Please read my post on meditation.

Visualisation

Picturing yourself in a relaxing place can help to reduce stress levels. Visualise yourself in a calm environment, such as a beach or in nature. I used to visualise myself pregnant and then a few years later, going to Machu Picchu with my 10-year-old. (I only have another 8 years to go for that to become a reality!)

Exercise

We all know the benefits of daily exercise. During the 2WW, exercising helps to manage anxiety and improve your sense of well-being. It releases endorphins, which are hormones that can help to improve your mood. My exercise routine was a brisk walk listening to my recorded affirmations every day.

Journaling

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help. It’s also a great way to track your progress and reflect on your journey. I am a huge fan of this and still journal today in the morning.

Connect with others

Talking to others who are going through or have been through a similar journey can help to manage stress and anxiety. It’s also a great way to get support and advice. If your are undergoing fertility treatment, then you may already have become friends with other women on the same journey. If not, then talking to a family member or a good friend will help.

Spending time in nature

Nature has a way of calming the mind and body. Spend time outside, in a park or in your garden. Breathe in the fresh air and take in the beauty around you.

Write a letter

Write a letter to yourself from your older self. You have to imagine that you have had your baby. Write about how the pregnancy journey was and then go on to talk about how wonderful your child is today! You could talk about how you have to take them to after school clubs, the new friends you have made, absolutely anything. You have to immerse yourself in the story, dream big and leave your doubts behind.

I love this method of relaxation and still try to do this whenever I have a big project/event to deal with.

Read and listen to affirmations.

By reading your affirmations daily and listening to them, you are subtly changing your internal dalogue. Have them posted about the house. Stand infront of the mirror and say them out loud, lovingly to yourself.

Colouring-in!

Colouring is probably something you did as a child and then left behind as you grew older. However, recent studies have shown that colouring can actually be a great way to relax and reduce stress. One of the benefits of colouring is that it helps to focus the mind on the present moment. Colouring requires concentration, which can help to promote mindfulness and banish negative thoughts. In addition, colouring has also been shown to lower heart rate and reduce levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. During the 2WW, try reaching for a crayon and you will be surprised by how much better you feel.

Conclusion

The 2WW can be difficult if left unmanaged. It’s crazy just how quickly or thoughts can spiral out of control. If you’re feeling stressed, anxious or overwhelmed, try some of the tips above to help you relax and manage the 2WW anxiety. And remember, you are not alone on this journey.

Good luck on your journey and thanks for reading x